Humans Of Corporate 101

My life took a turn in 2017 when I got placed in an IT company- my first corporate in India.

Well, what can I say, I went to the interview dressed in a pair of ripped jeans and a tank top. I basically was dressed to be rejected, as I honestly wasn’t sure I even wanted to be hired! I didn’t think I would make a good candidate, considering I had near nil experience with technical writing.

I remember that call with the recruiter. I wanted to make sure he understood that I didn’t own any formals and I didn’t want to be dressed in formals either. They still wanted me to show up for the interview. I guess I learned during that first visit to the company that corporate attire in India isn’t the same thing as that in the States. I was relieved and hired!

God, things do change! Fast forward to 2019 and my wardrobe now has a handful of formal dresses and I recently went shopping for some pants too!

Thinking about it, as long as you know how to carry your outfit, it really doesn’t matter what brand you wear. It wasn’t my attire that got me hired at my first IT company interview, and neither was it my lack of experience with the IT industry. Rather it was my ability to think outside the box and my confidence in carrying my casual look that won me the deal.

Confidence, therefore, is the key, my friends. Whatever you choose to wear, you must wear confidently! But there are some fashion boo-boos you must avoid even if it means you must disappoint your beliefs.

I am in my third IT job and believe I have made enough observations to help my peers feel confident and accepted. After all the way you present yourself says a lot about you.

Indians have the brains…let’s garnish that with the skill for tasteful dressing and a groomed you!

To begin with, it is my understanding that the average Indian today is earning more than the previous generation. It beats me then why so many of them won’t take care of themselves? What is with this mentality of saving? I rather enjoy the money now while I am young than when I am old and home ridden. I enjoy pedicures and manicures. I hate chipped nail polish, and I absolutely can’t stand men with sweat marks on their shirt! And who goes to meetings with tikkas? What about living well in a well decorated and clean home? Hmm…

So yes, I will say outrageous things, but all in the interest of the general corporate public.

Stay tuned for #humansofcorporate.

India's paradise

I have always wanted to visit “paradise” on earth: a paradise that is disputed and fought for; a paradise that is suffering in silence; a paradise that is virgin, not by choice; a paradise that has been reported to be infested by fear and war; That doesn’t sound like paradise, now does it?

I didn’t think so either, that is until I visited this “paradise” last week for a wedding.

My relationship with Kashmir goes back to 2017 when I dated Arsalan. Going back was my way of feeling connected to him, even though he doesn’t reside there anymore and even though we never did have a future together. But somehow my heart always longed to go back, find his family, and experience the stories he would narrate to me about his homeland. That was the beginning of our love story- of Kashmir and me.

The wedding then was a mere excuse for a bigger purpose.

Kashmir is just as they described it: paradise on earth- serene and green.

Except for the sight of uniformed men standing guard at every nook and corner, for no apparent reason at all, even at random spots. The look on their faces was disheartening. Their eyes numb. Something about this whole thing was quite disturbing. Then there were the convoys that passed us in hoards, just as Arsalan described them, and nothing like the media showed us. There was no war. There was no shooting. Everything was peaceful. Then why is it that we are made to believe that Kashmir is unsafe?

Perhaps a political agenda? About 30% of India’s economy is reserved for the protection of Kashmir. From what I wondered. Imagine if this 30% was poured into development efforts instead? Imagine if the soldiers were given something more fruitful to do. Imagine if they were allowed to go home? How then would the government rationalize the taxes we are paying? War is a business.

But from whom is the Indian army protecting Kashmir? From the Kashmiris who are tired of being controlled and who are actually trying to protect their homeland from a mindless war with India’s neighbor? Ironic isn’t it? No wonder, Kashmiris aren’t in favor of the Indian government. No wonder they are sick and tired. No wonder, Kashmir remains sheltered from the world. No wonder Kashmir is never promoted by the Indian government for tourism purposes. It is almost as if the government wants to paralyze the region so that they are forced to surrender. But Kashmiris are strong economically. Every Kashmiri has a roof above their head. No one is really “homeless” or “hungry”. The only beggars we saw were the ones from Rajasthan and other parts of India. No Kashmiri begs. Instead, the employment index of Kashmir is high. Why doesn’t any media report this story from Kashmir? Beats me.

The roads are paved, the eateries clean and upmarket. Heck, even their airport is much nicer than some of the airports in India’s metro cities.

We are made to believe that Kashmiris are all militants funded by Pakistan. That we should fear them. But I never witnessed this side of Kashmir. Instead, I felt safe, taking in the sights and realizing how much of what the media reports is fabricated. It is hard to believe that Kashmir is made out to be the devil’s land. Some of my closest friends are Kashmiris. Dare anyone call them out as terrorists! There was no war, no bullets, no lunatics firing into the crowd. We only saw Kashmiris living their lives. It is as if they had adapted to being “watched”.

But for how much longer can this continue?

Kashmir is just caught up in this divide between India and Pakistan. It isn’t fair to the people of Kashmir. It isn’t fair to the soldiers. It isn’t fair for the families of the nation’s soldiers. It isn’t fair for tourists. It isn’t fair to Kashmir.

The Indian government claims that Kashmir is theirs. But what they have been doing is pushing Kashmiris away. Clinging on to it by means of arms will only have repercussions.

I only see dialogue as a means to win the confidence of the people of this paradise. Modi has already done wonders with the country’s poor. I am confident that his government can bring peace if they look beyond weapons and violence. It’s time to not be in the offensive. It is time for some real action. It is time Kashmir earns her place in travel bucket lists. It is time paradise be regained. And it is time our soldiers be united with their family.

Priyanka Chopra's Met Gala look- what's all the fuss?

Let’s talk about the Met Gala.

My Instagram feed is flooding with images of Priyanka Chopra in her Met Gala ‘Camp’ look, and I am sure yours is too.

Outrageous! Bang on! Priyanka Chopra-Jonas nailed the theme! By saying just that I may have lost Deepika Padukone fans…

Hold your horses. Don’t jump the guns! Read the caption below the images. Aya samaj main?(Do you now understand?) I see that you still not convinced.

The Met is not for the faint-hearted, let me assure you. The theme’s are always quirky fashion statements, and guests are expected to flaunt it!

But somehow, despite having had some Indian names attend the MET like the actresses, Isha Ambani, and Natasha Poonawala very few back home know the reason behind the weirdness. Some comments go as far as shaming the star for representing India in a ‘negative’ way. Hold on! It is quite the contrary. I commend Priyanka for following the theme and actually becoming the cameras’ pet on the Met red carpet!

If you ask Google about the Met, you will find an entire Wikipedia page devoted to it. It only takes a few minutes to get educated. But somehow the general Indian paltan is too quick to speak- a trait that is associated with weaklings.

I think the celebs themselves could to do a better job at telling their fans all there is about the Met, which marks the opening of the Costume Institute's annual fashion exhibit on the first Monday of May.

Until they speak, here’s a quicky:

The Met Gala, established in 1948 is an annual fundraising event for the benefit of the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in New York City. Celebrities from the world over are invited.

So who gets to go?

From $50 to $30,000 apiece for the ticket, the fundraising has come a long long way! This is probably why we haven’t seen a lot of Bollywood there. Of course, not everyone pays for a ticket. A brand will often invite celebrities to sit at its table which costs around $275,000. This is also probably why we don’t find the men of the Indian tinsel-town on there. Brands rather sponsor the ladies who actually have a fan following keeping their expansion goals in mind- think Deepika! I wouldn’t blame them…If you are paying so much, you would rather have someone who has that kind of following. I feel for Ranveer, but hey can men's fashion in India pull in big pesos?

And even if you can afford to, you cannot go- unless of course you are invited…only those celebs that can preach the gospel with their beauty and x-factor get to go! Capisce?

I won’t go through the history as that would be a long haul…let’s go back to when it all started for India-2017.

2017: Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons: Art of the In-Between

2018: Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination 

2019: Camp: Notes on Fashion 

As you can tell, the themes are not the fashion we are accustomed to seeing. Nonetheless, the Indian bourgeoisie and especially our Indian Jonas know just how to make the paparazzi go all gaga!

Let’s focus on this year’s theme- Camp: Notes on Fashion

And what does that even mean? The only camp you probably know is the military camp or a school camp probably. Hmm... This is why we need to make use of this wonderful technology called the internet and reduce our ignorance. Being a computer whizkid or engineer will fill your pockets…but to fill your brain, you may need to actually make use of the tool to become street smart! You can’t just use your brain, when you get paid for it…it was an organ given to humans long before money came into the picture. Money too is the product of our brain...that was when we actually used it! So let’s put it to use again. Being ignorant is not a virtue, let me assure you!

So back to Camp!

You may have guessed by now that Camp has nothing to do with the summer camp. It has everything to do with savoring the fabulousness, irony, and whimsical of being extra. The concept at this year’s Met is inspired by Susan Sontag's 1964 essay that defines camp as "love of the unnatural: of artifice and exaggeration.”

Recall those fashion shows where you went, “eww you call that fashion? Who would even wear that?” That’s Camp fashion for you!

An expression of escapism I would say.

The outfits have an expressive soul. They can be theatrical, they can even be humorous, but never plain.

And now let's scrutinize Ms. Jonas and her choice of outfit!

Disclaimer: I would not otherwise approve this look! But hey it's the Met...and quirky is what floats the boat at the biggest fashion gathering in the city that never sleeps!

So Priyanka's eye-catching Dior couture outfit which took over 1500 hours to create, complete with futuristic makeup, outsize-teased hair, Dior Haute Couture palladium crown, and even a bindi, deserves respect and not memes and trolls for staying true to the theme. Her arriving in the arms of her husband sent a beautiful message too! They both looked the part!

The spectacular gown and cape were made from tulle, featuring embroideries of tulle feathers and silver strass. All the elements came together to scream 'more' and 'chic'!

Still confused about the theme? I wouldn’t fret about it. Perhaps that's the point of it all. Either way, the Met is a reminder that fashion is at its most fun when it's not taking itself too seriously.

So who do you think has followed the theme closely and who hasn’t? Would you still go on to bash Priyanka or any future celebrity who would go all out to actually fit in?

I am breaking up with my dating app

My favorite thing to do on a Sunday is to write, or as technology has it, type, a blog post!

I scroll through my list of subjects I have noted in the pages of my black journal. And no it isn’t a digital one. Somethings just need to be how they’ve always been real and tangible-so as to not lose their charm. So my diary cover reads “Your potential is endless”, very apt for my thoughts that don’t ever rest. These are topics that I write down when I am commuting to work or just sitting at a cafe waiting on a friend, or just some random thoughts that pop at random times or as I witness something happening before my eyes. The list is truly endless.

I settle on a topic. But just to make sure how much has already been fed to Google universe on the subject, I search the keywords: dating apps and their impact on life.

The biggest challenge for a writer is to find something original to say in an ocean of ideas that already exist. In today’s times, it is becoming increasingly cumbersome to reinvent the wheel. So how can I ensure I am heard and referenced? Well, I won’t reinvent the wheel, but yes, I do have something that none of the other writers have: my story and perspective that rises out of those ashes!

Let’s begin:

Once upon a time…not too long ago...

Naa, scratch that.

Technology is seen as a blessing. It has made it possible to meet people you otherwise wouldn’t have. It has been a blessing. And it also has its vices. I am beginning to feel that technology is adopting human-like qualities, while we humans are becoming more technology-like. The latter is definitely easier to prove and I will leave the former to your interpretation as you read through my theory. Where were we? Ah, dating apps.

Given my profession, my age, my long battle with depression, and my diminishing interest in socializing, I have become dependant on technology to keep my love life in check. So why is it that even after having downloaded 4 apps and having a pretty thorough profile, I am still single? 3 years and over 100 matches, and I still haven’t managed to find someone I like?! And until yesterday, I hadn’t given up hope. This article, therefore, is an exercise for me, to revisit my dependancy on these apps at least when it comes to finding a committed partner to whom I am also attracted.

Did I mention that I have been using the dating apps religiously? My best friend tells me there are more apps. Jesus! It is hard to keep up. That coupled with my writing background, I always have a detailed profile, so I don’t have to respond to every one of my matches about the common questions everyone might have. I rather just dive right into more revealing things about a person’s thought process. I always give a brief idea of who I am, and what I do. I also clearly spell out what I am looking for on the platform and also the traits I would like to find and not find in my match.

Remember I told u that I haven’t found anyone yet? Well, that isn’t entirely true. I did come across 2-3 people I really would have liked for things to materialize. 2-3 out of a 100 is a pretty poor score. And it gets worse than that. And that is where I am getting at.

Despite having spelled out what I was looking for, I have men matching me for hookups and FWF. The first of the 3 matched with me on Tinder. The second on Hinge and the third on Inner Circle. From now on I will refer to them as A,P, and S respectively. None of them could commit to me. ‘P’ believed in open relationships although he did treat me as if we were in a relationship. Confusing! ‘A’ had a girlfriend who he claimed wasn’t going to work out with. So he was in search of a companion. ’S’ claims he will fly in to meet me and potentially move -in with me. Him and I only connected 2 days ago.

'A' and I lasted a month and a half. 'P' quit on me after 2 weeks. 'S' well, I am still waiting on his text even though I can see he is online.

And then there are those matches, that read my profile, don’t fit the bill and yet write to me making tall promises that haven’t seen the light of day. And there are the liars, the impersonators, and the day-dreamers who think they stand a chance. Let’s not forget those who assume I will fall for a puppies pic or an image of a rose. Who the f*** do they think is on the other side of the app?

It is maddening and yet we continue. But I want to stop. I fall for people for whom I may just be that distraction, or a shoulder to cry on. But what about me? Why do I allow myself time and again to fall for their trap? Do these men realize what a toll it takes on my mental health as I wait on calls or text messages? Those tears that roll when I get dumped for just following someone's lead, are not worth it! Even an app like Bumble that puts women in charge is bogus!

No one cares about how I feel. They are machines, who are just after one thing or perhaps more if I was skinny or financially stable.

Funny thing is men I am not attracted to, are the ones who give me attention…Is there a way to make these thoughts stop!?

*Will someone I like, accept me and my body as is?

*will he call or message?

*why hasn’t he messaged me yet?

*what did I do for him to back away?

*if I kiss him, will he assume I am a loose girl?

*where the f*** are the good looking ones?

*he never calls, I am the only one who does. What does it all mean?

*will he really fly down?

*I am fat, will he still like me?

*Why am on the app?

I feel I need to get out of the cycle that is messing with my head and sanity. And I am beginning to blame the apps for ruining my chances of meeting someone real. So what if I am not skinny, young, or financially stable? I rather meet a real person who would see and feel my aura first. Not someone who has no empathy and desire for something real. I am also beginning to believe that dating apps are primarily for losers and those who have no self-worth. If you disagree, ask yourself, how many celebrities or well-respected names have a profile on a dating app? I was on there because I admit, I had low self-esteem due to my weight issues. But I realized that there are more f***ed up and lonelier people out there on the dating app universe.

I, therefore, conclude, that most of the humans who use these apps are machines without a heart. These apps, therefore, are not for you and me, who want something meaningful and monogamous. It’s like the tide is against us. I have given 3 years of my life to dating apps. I don’t want to lose more.

This break-up may mean I have to learn to get out and be more comfortable in my own skin. And I will even if it means getting uncomfortable in the beginning. But I won’t let another ‘inhuman’ man, think I am easy or inhuman.

I want to be pursued and toiled for. I won’t settle for less. So bye-bye dating apps and hello peace of mind! A, P, and S no longer will give me sleepless nights and restless mornings.

Disclaimer: I don’t speak as a woman but as a human. I am sure there are men who would echo similar sentiments.

The Blame Game

I feel miserable. Have a hard time falling asleep and a hard time staying asleep. Wake up to bouts of tears. There are traces of anger, confusion, and pain in the rolling drops. The heart is heavy.

Trusting the stranger

I have a feeling I am not the only one. There are more lonely people in this “social” world than we think. 

Eat and let eat!

I have never been a diet-friendly person. In fact, I have never believed in refraining from any kind of food. So dieticians never interested me. Neither did the fancy dieticians usually referred to as “sports nutritionists and nutritionists”. I could not understand how people pay a huge portion of their income for the advice of dieticians and nutritionists when all they ever do is tell you to give up foods that are either part of your culinary culture or part of adding variety to your meals.

With everyone obsessed with weight-loss, I always felt like the out one out. My friends, trainers, and family never really understood why I was so adamant about not following a certain diet. Why did I refuse to have Muesli, oats or granola instead of my bun Maska and chai? And trust me, I have explained to them over and over that diet is not something I can sustain in the long run. “Healthy” food as they call it is expensive, not readily available, and foreign (which means it is wrapped in preservatives).” I stood my ground and just trained at the gym and indulged in my favorite cardio workout- dancing!

So even though I am not a dietician and have no scientific background what so ever, I will be sharing my views on this multi-billion dollar industry and at the end of it I will conclude why I believe it is all a sham. Call me a traditionalist if you please, but what I am about to spell out here will get you thinking about that visit to your dietician or to the organic food store.

Don’t believe your dietician if they prevent you from: 

• Eating white rice and carbs: Silly dietician doesn’t know that brown rice is a new fad. Before brown rice was even introduced into the market, white rice was the only option. And no one was obese. Rice does not cause cholesterol and neither will it make you fat! Neither is bread bad for you! My grandmother is over 70 years old and has been eating bread and rice till date. In China, people live longer even though they have rice and noodles. What is more important is to pay attention to the cooking methods and ingredients. So white rice doesn’t get you fat. It is the level of activity that has taken a dip since your grandmother’s and mother’s generation. And did you know that in Ayurveda, Pita- high people should avoid brown rice? 

• Dairy: My grandmother has no idea what almond and soya milk are. She has always been drinking cow or goat milk.  And Hale and hearty, she is! Wonder why I had never heard of lactose intolerance and gluten-free products before I turned 24. Strange how new research comes about that negates age-old wisdom! And what’s that- Skim milk and fat-free dairy products? How in the world do you separate the fat from dairy? Do ask yourself that before you go buy that almond milk tetra pack! 

• Fruits and sugars: It is not the sugar in fruits that is the problem, it is our activity levels that are. And who in their right mind will tell you to keep away from fruits unless you do have diabetes and have to avoid certain produce? 

What they say you should have:

• Protein bars: What would people have before protein bars? And wait a minute didn’t your dietician advice you against having sugar? Do yourself a favor and pick up a pack of a protein bar and read the ingredients. There is no sugar there right? Protein bars are just a way of baring you from keeping your hard earned dough!

• Weird and tasteless food items for breakfast: Yes I refer to Muesli, oats, and granola as weird and tasteless food items. I remember enjoying a bowl of cornflakes as a child, but that was as far as my tryst with foreign foods has reached. Now, what the hell are these new items? When did they pop up? And I grew up eating bread, butter, and tea. Why should I give that up suddenly? Do you know much more those strange products cost over my normal breakfast? 

• Broccoli and Avocados: How come we are seeing so much of these two everywhere? Where are they grown? Did your parents ever have broccoli before you made them try broccoli soup last year for the first time? And I bet they haven’t even heard of avocados. Go on ask them!  If something isn’t grown locally, it definitely has to have been grown elsewhere and transported to your local vegetable vendor. Imagine the number of preservatives that have been pumped into your salad or soup! 

• Drink 5-6 liters of water: Jesus Christ- I would need to have access to a toilet at all times if I drink so much water. And how do you possibly keep track? I thought work was already too much to keep track of and now I must keep track of how much water I drink. Do you think our grandparents kept track of how many “containers” of water they would go through? Drink enough to stay hydrated and energized that is how I keep a track of my water intake. 

• Have food cooked in ghee and have saboodana khichadi and Greek yogurt: But what if in my culture, we don’t know what ghee is? And why would I have Greek yogurt when I can have normal yogurt? And what the hell is saboodana khichadi? How do you even cook it? I thought diet was supposed to be sustainable.  I am sure these items aren't bad for you. But if they are not your staple food or locally available, don't look too hard. There are other things that will work instead. 

I bet every dietician pretends to show you that they customize their diet plans for you. But I am sure if I do a survey of a majority of their clients’ diet sheet, I would see so many similarities. That is because it is easy to be a dietician. It is easy to fool people into believing that what made one person lose 20 pounds, will also work for you. What we don’t see is the difference in our lifestyles and cultures. Ayurveda

So what should you do? 

• Eat according to your culture: Just because the dietician overlooks your culture’s eating habits doesn’t mean you should. Talk to them and tell them you do not know how to cook saboodana or whatever it is that they are prescribing you. That grilled chicken is difficult and expensive to make since you do not own a griller. 

• Check with your grandmother: If she doesn’t know something, chuck it. And no tetra pack dairy products, please! Also if you cannot pronounce the ingredients, it may clearly be something you do not want inside your body. AVOID! Go for fresh, locally grown produce. 

• Save the Mexican food for your trip to Mexico: Some culinary foods have to have special ingredients that may have to be imported. Think PRESERVATIVES!

• Enjoy your meals, but watch the portions: I will never ever give up biryani or Persian food. I will never give up bun Maska and I will never give up Indian desserts. Instead, I choose to moderate the portions. I also eat when I feel hungry, not every 2 hours on the clock. 

• Don’t keto: Why should I? My grandmother never did and neither did my mother. I also will not fast to detox! You only detox when you eat food that is toxic to you. But why eat toxic food in the first place? When you buy locally grown and bred produce, and wash it before you cook, I bet you won’t have toxins in you. 

• Science is a funny field: Green tea was once good for you, and now its benefits are being questioned. Same with red meat. Whom should you believe? Wait a few more years and granola too will be ousted for the same benefits it is being embraced today. 

• Everything in moderation is fine: Yes you read that right, even alcohol and aerated drinks, can be had. I was a thumbs up addict once not too long ago. It has been a month since I haven't tasted it even. But I won’t stop myself from having a glass with my biryani if I feel the urge to. Drinking a glass of red wine with your dinner is also good. The Italians do it and so can you. Just stick with local wine! 

• Don’t go to a dietician: Use your brains instead and follow your gut feeling. If something you ate caused you constipation or diarrhea, you know to avoid it. Your gut is the best judge of what you can eat and what you should avoid. 

• Avoid the one diet for all syndrome: There is no such thing as uniformity in meals. You need to have a colorful meal. The greens, yellows, reds, purples all need to be on display at the dining table. 

• Quit counting the calories, carbs, and proteins: I will go insane if I have to maintain a food journal and record everything I ate and its exact nutrients. If my gut is happy, I am. If I feel good about myself when I stare into the mirror, I don’t need to know the calories of what I ate. 

• If you want to follow media shows you, don’t lose sight of its past projections:  Who creates trends? Kareena Kapoor or Shilpa Shetty? What about the actors of the yesteryears? Were they a size zero? I don’t think that a size zero is sexy…it is unhealthy if you have to starve yourself to get there? I remember being disappointed that no one would cast me in movies because I wasn’t “skinny”. But why are we doing this to our existence? We should get into that frame of mind and body where we are happy! I love watching the female stars of bygone eras of Bollywood. They were curvy and sexy. 

• Capitalism is another culprit: It has given us the “gift” of options, or should I rather say “curse”. These options, my readers, is a big dilemma. Imagine seeing so many men before having to settle on one groom! Oh boy, I rather call off the marriage! I go to the supermarket and find so many milk options in the aisle. I also see so many varieties of teas, and cheese and sugar. Can the mirror on the wall tell me which one I should pick? 

• Become more active: Take the stairs, walk to your nearest grocery store, Walk around while on a call, and do house chores! We are not putting on weight only because of our food choices; we are obese because we are not as active as our grandparent's generation. Let's move it! move it! 

• Chew like a cow: On the other hand, chew like a cow and take time to enjoy your meal. This is why I prefer not eating by myself as then I eat too much too quickly. I believe in meal companions' I even had one! 

• Don't drink, and eat cold foods: They aren't healthy for your gut. Warm the food and drink warm water when possible. Chilled water even during scorching summers can cause your gut immense discomfort. 

All this translates to common sense is less expensive and more valuable. History too is a good companion. Sit your grandmother down and let her share her food tips with you.  Go through your fridge and pantry and chuck all the food items whose ingredients you don’t recognize or have to google. And remember to always go with what’s fresh and that which makes you happy. If it is sustainable, you have just strengthened your relationship with food. So dear dieticians, 'eat and let eat!'

I invite you to share your experience with diet and dieticians.

Here’s the link to my video on the same topic.

Airbnb- the business of living with the perfect strangers

“Don’t talk to strangers,” my mother’s voice still echoes in my ears that obviously is open to all sorts of noises! 

But I have always been a rebel and I wanted to find out why she would advise me against opening up to strangers.  I still haven’t figured out why she was always apprehensive. 

Up until I was 17, I was a sheltered being. I am now 34, and those words just seem gibberish, particularly because I have bloomed into an amazing human only because I didn’t pay heed to her advice. 

Times have changed, drastically. You can only survive if you do meet and interact with strangers. A sheltered Mariam would have never made something of her existence. I bagged my first paid internship during the first semester of uni only because I garnered courage and went ahead and spoke to the facilitator of a workshop hosted by the Georgia College Press Association (GCPA). Mr. Mark Smith was impressed with me, enough to offer me a paid internship at his newspapers- The Eatonton Messenger and Lake Oconee News. I later on to become the President of the GCPA. That is only one instance where I proved my mother wrong. Sometimes parents have to be challenged. But defiance is not the point I am making here. 

You are all smart and know what I mean. 

My first car, the awards I won at uni, and my travel diaries are all the result of my flamboyant nature. Fast forward to the year 2015, and I took my love for strangers to a whole new level when I started inviting strangers to share my home! Airbnb has fundamentally changed my positioning on strangers. I have met some of the coolest individuals, showed them around Cairo and also shared some of my life’s deepest secrets with them. It has been beautiful. 

And I am not alone. The Airbnb community is growing and rightly so. A lot of people do it for the money. I do it for the companionship. Hosting someone in your house can be a scary thought. What if they loot me? What if they hurt me? I can understand your reservations. And I am not here to convince you that you should blindly trust strangers. What I intend to do, however, is to convince you to put down your guard enough where you can make the most of any conversation with a stranger. Take baby steps. I did too. And now I am a seasoned Airbnb host and traveler. 

So many memorable experiences that it is hard to pin down my favorite. I have hosted people from all over the world and of such diverse backgrounds. Some have stayed a couple of nights and some for weeks! Many have become friends, and some just last as long as their visit. Either way, each guest has left an impact. 

Michelle from Switzerland, Anna from Austria, Beau from the US, Ankit from Mumbai, Sam and …. from the US, Nivedita from Bangalore, Venkat from Hyderabad, Alsu from Russia, Michael from Germany, Indranil from Kolkatta, Anna from Mexico, Ankit from Chandigarh, and I can just go on and on. 

I carefully choose the strangers I want to host, and then make the most of our time together. From reflections over hookah, a dinner, politically incorrect jokes over breakfast, attending music concerts together, and coffee shop conversations, time with Airbnb guests is beyond compare.

Somethings are best experienced with someone you don’t know, and when strangers become a familiar presence, consider you have lived life in the truest sense. 

There can be good and bad moments. Whether you choose to dwell on the bad, is up to you. I have chosen to look beyond the negative experiences and not give in to my mom’s voice. 

The Airbnb model is beyond one of business. The idea of connecting is simply surreal, and yet deeply fulfilling. 

Airbnb can be what you want to make of it. A stopover, or an enriching experience. I always hope for the latter for me and my guests. 

Watch my YouTube video here.

Replaceability is inevitable...just not yet!

Now don't let anyone tell you that you are irreplaceable. I know this sounds harsh, but somehow even you know that I am blatantly honest. 

When my boutique in Cairo was my passion, I was irreplaceable.

Others have replaced me and I have replaced others. As I am sure you have too. So whom do we kid when we tell ourselves that we are too good to be discharged? The truth of the matter is you won't mind being replaced by people, or from positions toward which you have no inclination. But I am sure you would hate your gut if you were to be replaced by someone at a  company or inner circle you most want in.

Five seasons of witnessing the Underwoods unturn every stone solely to hold on to their power in the White House, I have learned a great deal about change, power, and passion. I have Netflix to thank for this; I had forgotten what was most dear to me, and what I wanted to be known for: that I would not have minded being replaced by a new colleague at work, but I would most certainly hate to ax my desire for my words to be noticed. I would hate to not leave a legacy before I am to be replaced by a newbie.  

I am not a tech writer. I can be replaced in that domain. And I know this.  But what I won't allow is for someone to swap me easily. This only boils down to one thing- what is your passion? How important is something to you that you are willing to go any length to make your mark? Unlike the Underwood administration, I hope you have an ethical plan to pursue. 

How difficult is it for a MAC user to go back to using a PC? Quite difficult, but not quite impossible. This is exactly what Apple plays on- making their products difficult to be replaced-so that Apple products can continue to dominate the consumer market long after Steve Jobs' demise. We have something to learn from this: choose your battles and ensure you convey how difficult it would be for someone to knock you down. 

It goes without saying then that brands that have survived this long have pitched their position. They have created a hook, thrown the bait at you, and there you are being pulled into their net. But the fishermen too will someday be replaced as will the fish in their net. 

The space between what you are willing to do and what you ought to do is your passion. Follow your gut. It never betrays. One day a technology is king and the next day it becomes obsolete. Be the Cloud engineer or company with an eye on the future, and not just the cloud engineer or cloud company. You don't want to be easily ousted, now do you?  Find your niche, and let your passion scream your irreplaceability to the environ that is your audience. Don't be disheartened that you were replaced if you never wanted the place from the getgo! Is all I am saying...

Technology-Live it Byte size!

I asked my mother if she remembered my first attempt at being an entrepreneur. I was ten and I was selling handwritten magazines to folks in my neighborhood and the community mosque. Of course, she did, even the details- the columns, the stories, the revenue.  When my parents had me enrolled in computer classes around the corner from the house I grew up in, I was thrilled to have been introduced to Notepad. I recall Ms. Nanda teaching me all the functions I could perform with this new tool! I then started experimenting with Notepad. I typed endlessly on the keyboard of the computer at Excel Computers and even came out with a typed version of my magazine. The little Mariam grew up and pursued her passion for media. That first attempt never materialized into something, beyond a childhood memory. But it was significant in the sense that today it is unheard of for someone to even write a handwritten letter, much less a magazine. I don’t even remember the last time I held a magazine in my hand. Perhaps it was the Filmfare or Femina magazine at a doctor’s clinic before I departed for the US.

The Blue Toothbrush

What is the likelihood that a break up be happy? Most often than not, breakups always leave hearts broken even in mutual separations.  Hence the name! And trust me no matter how many breakups you have been through, it never seems to get easier, neither does the age of the couple involved or length of the relationship have any bearing on the pain and loneliness you experience immediately post a separation. Whatever the reason behind the break-up, it is always followed by tears.  But the tears eventually cease; the feeling of missing your ex may or may not. How long the grieving period lasts varies from person to person and also on the emotions involved. How I react to a break up will be different from how my ex responds to our separation.

Unnerve your reservations about Solo Trips

Master the art of thou selfies on a solo trip

Traveling in a group has its own perks, just as traveling solo has its. A majority of my travels have been solo trips and I can vouch that they have been some of the most memorable ones indeed. But it wasn't until I got to India that I realized that solo travels are a luxury that only a few could afford,  and not because they can't afford it financially, but because they had parents or close relatives who would keep them from experiencing the best moments of their life. Even in today's day and age, Indian parents have reservations about their daughters venturing out even to the next town on their own. But how does one go from living with parents to living with a husband and then kids without really living on their own and experiencing their personal calling in a country where women are not allowed to live independently and where even finding accommodation as a bachelor is like finding a needle in the haystack?

Mariam! Mariam! Where have you been?

At my desk

Let me follow that title with this, "I have not been to London to see the queen!" Given that I am a Gemini, the disappearing and appearing act is second nature. And so you must forgive me for being focused on some other stuff while I took a break from personal blogging. But, tonight I felt the urge to return to my online journal and share with you the details of the reason I have been away.