Each to his own- Battlefield strategy

She kept forgetting that this is no Utopian country, but far far from it. Had she understood this, it would have been easier for her to survive here.

She can still replay that fateful day in her head when she packed everything up in her Heliopolis apartment in Cairo and moved India leaving behind a man who loved her and her booming business with the hope of adventure and a starry reality. She was delusional, obviously. But that is her, and change had worked well for her before. But India is a different game altogether. The people here are almost a different species, who have adapted and evolved over time. Her family here too had adapted. But she just couldn’t.

Three years, and many many deceitful encounters later, she has to make a decision. But again it isn’t easy.

Why won’t you just leave if you hate it here so much?

Why won’t you go back to Cairo?

What we don’t realize is that people make bad choices all the time. People do. And there are people all over the world.

And she had her own baggage. All her savings spent on trying to make her experience of living in India worthwhile. But at the end of it all, it was squandered, and now she feels trapped again just as described in the chapter of her first book.

She has been betrayed more times than she could cope with. Sometimes she introspects if it is her who is in the wrong because how can so many people be wrong. And then she realizes she hasn’t adapted. She isn’t one of them and she can never be.

She must find an exit.

And while she thinks of a way out, she gets duped again, by people she trusts and people who she has gone above and beyond for.

Do they not realize what they are doing to a psyche of a woman who attributed her heart to India?

On the surface she has pseudo-adapted. She has learned to be firm and blunt. She can be ruthless to people who lack common sense or won’t live up to the expectations of humanness. Ironically, though she is just trusting and hopeful. Trusting of every Indian she meets who comes from an educated class, and trusting that no one talks down about her behind her back, or should I say in front of her in a local language. And hopeful that there are nicer people around and that she will meet them soon. Hope can sometimes be dangerous. This is one of those situations.

She has to pause. She has to think. But all she can think of is how her friends double-crossed her. How she defended them and how they didn't hold up their part of the bargain. How secrets get leaked. How nobody pauses and thinks about the consequences of their actions. And then she realizes, everyone here is an opportunist. They have adapted.

Why does it feel like a war? Where you are only as good as the assets you have? And where you are important only until there is another entrant in the spy game who has more vital assets to share? The moment you have nothing to leak, you get disowned.

To whom can she trust? Or rather how does she shield herself from deceit and belittlement?

Last night she disowned two of her friends who lied and stood her up for their own ulterior motives. You see they probably didn’t want to go against the wishes of the person who could be a business sponsor and the man whom they set me up with just to please him. And all this while she thought, maybe this time, they were actually on her side. It was all a setup. And all she gets is “ but you enjoyed it too! Peace out”! As if that is supposed to make it all go away!

She is of course scarred but didn’t we mention above that to survive here everyone becomes an opportunist. Time she becomes one so she can survive too in this dystopian society India had become since she had last left from its airspace in 2004.

This morning feels different. She has 2 people less in her friend circle and pain of a different kind of betrayal. But there is still so much that is intact: her cozy home, the cats, the search for a new job, some good people she can count on, and her sole self.

But there are developments: she will no longer choose to ignore the signs that come from her gut, and she will no longer defend anyone else until they have proved their loyalty to her (no favors, just give and take). If this is war, she will play along!

Replaceability is inevitable...just not yet!

Now don't let anyone tell you that you are irreplaceable. I know this sounds harsh, but somehow even you know that I am blatantly honest. 

When my boutique in Cairo was my passion, I was irreplaceable.

Others have replaced me and I have replaced others. As I am sure you have too. So whom do we kid when we tell ourselves that we are too good to be discharged? The truth of the matter is you won't mind being replaced by people, or from positions toward which you have no inclination. But I am sure you would hate your gut if you were to be replaced by someone at a  company or inner circle you most want in.

Five seasons of witnessing the Underwoods unturn every stone solely to hold on to their power in the White House, I have learned a great deal about change, power, and passion. I have Netflix to thank for this; I had forgotten what was most dear to me, and what I wanted to be known for: that I would not have minded being replaced by a new colleague at work, but I would most certainly hate to ax my desire for my words to be noticed. I would hate to not leave a legacy before I am to be replaced by a newbie.  

I am not a tech writer. I can be replaced in that domain. And I know this.  But what I won't allow is for someone to swap me easily. This only boils down to one thing- what is your passion? How important is something to you that you are willing to go any length to make your mark? Unlike the Underwood administration, I hope you have an ethical plan to pursue. 

How difficult is it for a MAC user to go back to using a PC? Quite difficult, but not quite impossible. This is exactly what Apple plays on- making their products difficult to be replaced-so that Apple products can continue to dominate the consumer market long after Steve Jobs' demise. We have something to learn from this: choose your battles and ensure you convey how difficult it would be for someone to knock you down. 

It goes without saying then that brands that have survived this long have pitched their position. They have created a hook, thrown the bait at you, and there you are being pulled into their net. But the fishermen too will someday be replaced as will the fish in their net. 

The space between what you are willing to do and what you ought to do is your passion. Follow your gut. It never betrays. One day a technology is king and the next day it becomes obsolete. Be the Cloud engineer or company with an eye on the future, and not just the cloud engineer or cloud company. You don't want to be easily ousted, now do you?  Find your niche, and let your passion scream your irreplaceability to the environ that is your audience. Don't be disheartened that you were replaced if you never wanted the place from the getgo! Is all I am saying...

The Blue Toothbrush

What is the likelihood that a break up be happy? Most often than not, breakups always leave hearts broken even in mutual separations.  Hence the name! And trust me no matter how many breakups you have been through, it never seems to get easier, neither does the age of the couple involved or length of the relationship have any bearing on the pain and loneliness you experience immediately post a separation. Whatever the reason behind the break-up, it is always followed by tears.  But the tears eventually cease; the feeling of missing your ex may or may not. How long the grieving period lasts varies from person to person and also on the emotions involved. How I react to a break up will be different from how my ex responds to our separation.

Hell bound

I had a very rough night. I should blame one of my closest friends for making me go through this torture again because he convinced me that I need to be there for my aging parents. Yet he wasn't there when I needed to be rescued from the mess he put me into. So I did what I know how to do best- escape to sanity!